It’s been an interesting week, one in which I’ve been angry on no less than three separate occasions.
It’s interesting because I rarely feel anger – true anger – but as I get older, a combination of not caring what others think of me and not being able to hold my tongue when I see an injustice or deliberate misdirection is leading me to be more outspoken than in previous years.
One of the occasions for anger blew over when was when I was able to say ‘enough’ over a situation that’s been going on for quite some time, and realise that I had had enough of buying into the discrete group/majority’s way of dealing with. It posed an unhealthy level of stress for me, so I decided that was it, enough. It might upset some people’s applecarts along the way but they’ll survive. I wasn’t allowing myself to deal with the situation honestly, and once I did, well, stress was relieved and anger dissipated.
Occasion two was on seeing a public figure being admired who I see as a bit of a ‘false prophet’, and whose faults don’t need much digging to uncover. I was forthright in my views on that one and may have offended a new friend, for which I’m sorry. But again, the option of not being able to be honest – or just holding my tongue – didn’t feel like a stress-free option. It says something about my new friend that he let me say my piece in full on his Facebook page and left it up. Sir, if you are reading this, you are a gentleman and I thank you for your indulgence.
Occasion three was a gut reaction after seeing a friend verbally attacked in quite a horrible way. Her other friends responded in reasonably sophisticated ways but I just kicked off Glasgow-style. I was talked down from the aggression ledge by someone else who is now a Facebook friend and who is also a gentleman, and who seems to have dealt with the problems very stylishly behind the scenes. Kudos, sir.
Interestingly, all of these occurred in my personal life rather than working life.
Ah, maybe it’s just me getting older, and crankier. Get me a walking stick so I can shake it at teenagers in the street!
3 thoughts on “The Little Book of F*&k Calm, I’m Angry”
@ Lindsay – you're spot on, mate. Especially the bit about timing and when it's right to express the emotion. There's a line between just indulging your anger and whether it will actually help the situation or worsen it. Flashpoints don't help because ironically they reduce the chances of thinking logically. Its a bit of a conundrum, huh?And David, I don't think it ever never bites you in the butt in some way. Even if your words have been well accepted, there's that nanosecond where the honesty has made you very vulnerable and that's always a difficult thing to handle, I think. I guess the answer is to acknowledge that and go ahead anyway, if you have the courage, and if you don't, then go scream in private. I've done that often enough!Thanks for reading and commenting, guys.
I think that its great that you can tell people how you feel without it coming back to bite you in the butt. I hope to one day get to that point.
There is certainly therapeutic value of expressing anger when the situation justifies a bit of an outburst. I guess the only challenge is judging whether the anger is going to be therapeutic for all of those involved in the situation – one has to choose the timing wisely!The way I look at anger as an emotion is that it occurs when one of our standards has been violated by somebody else. As long as you show where you are coming from and people understand it, it normally is not a problem.Where people run into problems is where they show the emotion without the reasoning behind it, leading to misunderstandings and further conflict. I guess that still leaves the eternal question: when you see that your standards have been violated, when is the right time to express your disagreement and when is it better to allow yourself to bend your sensitivities to match the less enlightened?